You Can Teach Your Man To Be a Better Lover™

Most women tell a similar story. “I love my man and I know he loves me. Our sex life is O.K., but most of the time he doesn’t really know how to pleasure me. Our sex is mostly for his pleasure. Sometimes I fake an orgasm, just to get it over with and not hurt his feelings.”

What if you could have a better lover without changing your relationship ?

What if your current, less-then-excellent-lover learned to listen to your body and paid attention to those things which make sex great for you? What if you as a couple could learn ways to re-invigorate your intimate times together—even in the midst of much-too-busy schedules and/or the demands of children in the home?

Yes, these “what ifs” could become “the way it is” with less time and energy that you might imagine. The information and skills needed are now available. This new intimacy education goes beyond basic sex education to teach the intimacy skills and relationship-enhancing techniques for great sex rarely taught in our society.

At least two preliminary decisions will pace the way for new possibilities in your intimate relationship. First, women can chose to claim their right to stress-free passion. Second, men can choose to be teachable.

Is your man teachable ? Probably. Enlightened self-interest is a powerful concept. You can find ways to stroke his sexual ego that will help him feel good about the process. As he acts on his new intimacy education so that he sees and experiences the results of really Great Sex, you may experience the joy of the sexual pleasure your body was created to enjoy. When he understands that learning how to pleasure you more effectively will probably mean a lot more hot sex for him, he will jump at the chance for intimacy education.


Play with the Possibilities
Women know that really great sex begins in your mind. So start there. Give your mind permission to play with the possibilities. Imagine what it will be like beyond the current “obstacles” to your pleasure as a woman and as a couple.

Make that imagined scene more real by writing your own personal short erotica scene. Use as many senses as possible—sight, touch, taste, smell, hearing. Let the story unfold so that you gracefully provide a way past the all-too-common obstacles to that sexual experience you deserve. Creatively address your real-life situation: the kids, the busy schedule, the tired body, the phone, etc.

Your erotic story need not be perfect. Its goal is to help you claim your own sexual possibilities and to provide concrete examples to your lover. Later you can share the erotica with your lover. The story provides not a demand that (he) change, but an invitation to explore creative solutions. Those creative story lines can lead to your experiencing the passion you deserve while he gets more of the passion he craves.€™t

by: Kaye Wray, Ph.D.

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